Sunday, December 27, 2009

Wake up call!

It's the last few days of the year and I have to say it's quite a change from last year and the dismal holidays I had after the break up with my loved one. The wounds seem to be healing and yes I can smile and laugh at life most of the time these days. A big part of the healing process was just getting busy with a new job this year. It gave me some positive hope in my life and the sense I could work through most of my problems. Being around some good people, finding new friendships and widening my social circle helped a great deal as well.

The point I'd like to make is that I feel blessed to be exactly where I am today! I've had a few wake-up calls these past few days with a fender bender on Hwy 400 and then today I helped get a friends dad to the emergency room with a heart attack. He will be alright once he has his double bypass sometime in the next few days. This event has set my mind in motion and brought up some fears I personally have. The parallels between myself and the heart attach victim are just too similar to miss. I haven't digested the experience properly yet so haven't come up with any concrete ways to express my feeling about it. I can feel things churning inside though and know this will lead me down a path to express myself about the condition I choose to live with.

As a rough passage of paint, I'd say what I'm feeling is some fear around being in the same boat.
I live alone as a middle aged male with a limited number of close friends who I don't stay in touch with on a daily basis. I suppose I would be missed at work or if I didn't check in after 3 or 4 days. I also have some deeper scars around whether I'd blow off my symptoms until it was too late. I have a way of rationalizing my pains and odd sensations as well as a healthy dose of skepticism about the medical profession.

I'll pick this conversation up later as my visual ideas emerge. Till then, I want you to think over your plan B and what you might do in the face of a medical emergency!

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